Friday, January 11, 2008

This Just Made Me Chuckle

These guys keep posting comments on my site, so I decided to give their site a look. It is Friday and the article below just made me chuckle. This is typical midwestern humor. From the Real Wisconsin News:

I told my cousin not to buy that house with his weak-ass resources, but my family said I was trying to ruin his dream. Now I’m waiting for the call to help them move all their crap back out and into a hole of an apartment.

If people are too stupid to know that they’re buying a house they can’t afford, then they deserve to get booted out of their dwelings and crawl back home to their parents, especially since those are the parents that didn’t provide adequate financial instruction or assistance in the first place.

When my father bought me a Volvo at 16, he told me I’d have to make sure I used my allowance wisely to pay for oil changes, or else the car would break down, and he would have been reluctant to buy a new one. So I was sure to have enough money for an oil change and for fuel. Now, that’s teaching responsibility. Parents who lack the intelligence or financial resources to teach their children raise children who go out and buy houses their puny salaries cannot afford. These people will in turn teach their children to try to scam the mortgage industry at their first home-buying opportunity. Well, the game is up, sub-prime borrowers, and it’s time to pay or lose that little 2500 square foot house of yours.

You don’t need a degree from MSOE or a graphing calculator to add up how much you spend each month. Just subtract the amount you added to your portfolio from the amount on your paychecks, and that’s how much you spent. Then, if the added-in house payment before or after the ARM is reset makes the calculator have a little minus symbol before the total, that means you can’t afford the house. I hear there are some nice duplexes in the city for people like you.

Some people, even intelligent conservatives like Mark Belling, are talking of a bail-out for these people who tried to take more than they deserved, but the only ethically correct bail-out is for the mortgage lenders that are being robbed by plebeians unwilling to work hard for what they get. And if you’re going to feel sorry for them, just think of the glut of foreclosed homes about to go back on the market that you can gobble up and rent out to the morons until the housing industry recovers, at which time you can sell the homes back to the idiots and wait for their next downfall.

Markets are cyclical in nature, and this is merely a correction of a market that was riding high. It’s natural, people! Even the granola-chomping hippies can dig that one—just ask your blasphemer hero Charles Darwin about natural selection, and then pay your mortgage on time or get ready to see how the fittest survive on the streets. What I’m saying is, whether your dad gives you a Volvo, or you’re from West Allis and your dad sub-lets you his 1983 Camaro, make sure you can afford to change the oil, or else just ride a bike.

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